dating someone with ms

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Love, Marriage, and MS: Dating Someone with Multiple SclerosisYoung, Unique and Diagnosed with MS: Your Appointment Questions, Answered Are you worried about how multiple sclerosis can interfere with your dating life? This is how people with the condition navigate their relationship problems. Love is unpredictable. That's how multiple sclerosis (MS). When you are dealing with both, even the most basic aspects of dating and relationships can be complicated, fast. It is no secret that living with MS can take a toll in your daily life, but for people who are diagnosed in their 20 or 30 years, many of whom are looking for a partner, the idea of appointments is full of concerns: How can I come out when my MS is constantly inferring in my social life? When do I tell a new partner about my diagnosis? How will my sexual life affect the disease? Anybody want to go out with me? These concerns are valid and not uncommon, says Julie Fiol, RN, a licensed social worker and MS's information and resources director for the ." MS is a complex disease," she says. "It can be hard to talk about or explain [to a partner] why. I could make dating harder when you're not sure how you'll feel." MS can also impact sexual feelings and function — a large part of the most romantic relationships. "Not everyone can handle being in an intimate relationship with someone who has a chronic illness," says Fiol. The bachelor scene: When bringing MSChelsey Merrill, 27, an account manager living near Portland, Maine, was single when he was first diagnosed with MS. After hearing the news, remember to think, who's gonna want to take this? Unlike her, a potential romantic couple would have an option to live with MS. As a result, Merrill says, he didn't come out for a while. When she finally decided to give an online dating opportunity, she fought a lot with how much to reveal about her illness and when. "It's a very vulnerable thing to tell someone and a lot to download on a first date," he says, "but I didn't want to feel like it was a secret that kept me." Yours is a common dilemma. It makes sense to wait until you feel a real connection with someone before revealing something so personal, but you don't want to wait so long for your partner to think you were hiding it, says Fiol. There is no time for everyone," adds Fiol. "It is a very personal choice, and more often you will be able to say when is the right time." Eventually, Merrill presented himself with a kind of litmus test for his online matches. She would ask them, "What is something you are proud of this year?" After answering, and naturally returned the question, she would mention her MS fund-raising work. Based on the reaction of her appointment, she would decide whether or not to talk about her diagnosis. "I was terrified, but all the experience I had sharing turned out well," he recalls. Merrill's been in a relationship for a little over a year. When his partner learned that he had MS, he grabbed his hand and said, "I don't know why you would be afraid to tell me that. It's not a bad thing." Relationship status: Should I stay or should I leave? If you're already in a relationship, it can bring your own challenges. Often there is a fear of the unknown as you wonder how it can affect your ability to travel, work, start a family or raise children. Medical expenses may take a toll, and your sexual life may require special accommodation. "You really have no idea," Merrill says. I could be fine today and wake up unable to move my arm tomorrow. " If you have just diagnosed with MS, remember that your partner is also processing the diagnosis. "Depending on how long you've been dating, the person could have known you and determined how they feel for you, regardless of your health," says Fiol. "Some people get up on the occasion and show their support, while others fear the unknown and run." 29-year-old Matt Allen Gonzales, an independent writer in Moreno Valley, California, had been dating someone for two years when he was diagnosed with MS at the age of 20. Not long after, the relationship ended. "This type of diagnosis is difficult for most adults to adapt to," he says, "and basically we were just two children. "Losing a relationship with a disease that already takes so much of you can be tearing, but ultimately, Fiol says, you deserve to be with someone who supports you no matter what. Catherine Weston, 25-year-old marketing manager in Richmond, Virginia, was friends with her long-term partner before they got involved romantically, so she was aware of her MS. Even so, he had not seen the really difficult aspects of his illness until they began to leave, he says. Often, Weston says, before a relationship has been serious, they've only seen you at your best. They don't get the most difficult moments, nitty-gritty when you can barely get out of bed or have intense mood swings or the need to isolate to just cool off the world." Now in a compromised relationship, he recognizes, "It is difficult for us that we have MS, but it is also difficult for our partners, who are next to us through everything." Sleep together: How MS can affect your sexual life Every time you decide to take a relationship with the next level — or the bedroom — nerves can go up. And MS adds another set of complications, whether it's your first time having sex with a new partner or you're becoming intimate with a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. MS is known for causing pain, numbness, tingling or hypersensitivity, which can affect the genital feeling as well as sexual desire. Women may experience; men may have difficulty getting erections; and both may experience decreased frequency or intensity of orgasms. In addition, fatigue and humor changes can decrease sexual interest and desire, says Fiol. There are corrections for many of these problems, however, says Fiol. For example, if fatigue is a frequent problem, it suggests to be intimate before, when you have more energy, instead of waiting for the end of a date. "You can take the pressure off, and then you can have a relaxing date night," he says. Medicines can handle many physical complaints. Using pillows strategically or variable positions can also help. The best way to maintain the quality of your sexual life is to talk regularly — and frankly — with your healthcare provider and your partner. Pillow Talk: Communication is key to a relationship with MS Being able to speak freely with your partner is crucial to a relationship when one of you has MS. "It's so important to find one who values communication over everything else," Weston says. "Share how you feel when you have MS is essential not only for a stronger relationship but also to get the help you need, when you need it." Weston remembers a camping trip that she took with her boyfriend, when the heat hit her with fatigue and pain. "He kept me in an air-conditioned camper as he cried for how intense the pain was," he recalls. "In previous relationships, they often told me, 'You are tough. Overcoming it, or, 'It doesn't seem so bad'. Now I can express my pain, my emotional problems and my struggles and it's always there to bring me a chocolate bar or watch bad movies with me. " If you have MS, you will need an empathic partner. The disease is confusing enough for the person who has it, but for someone outside, it is even more difficult to understand, says González. "They can't see that he feels fatigued, nausea, dizzy or pained," he says, "so he has to verbalize every small thing he can to help mitigate the chances of a misunderstanding. "Making the First Mode: Auto-Love With MSFrom all the dating challenges accompanying MS, Gonzales believes that the greatest is "by surpassing your own insecurities. "That's usually the first obstacle people have to overcome when they try to get out," he says. It may be terrifying to put you out there and be vulnerable, but if you have MS, you've been through a lot, and you can handle this too, when you're ready. If you are struggling emotionally to take the first step, consider reaching your healthcare provider, a therapist, or a resource and support group. More in multiple sclerosis500+ Ways to administer multiple sclerosis — From patients, professionals and caregivers11 ways to beat FOMO when you have multiple sclerosis Muscle therapy for multiple sclerosis: how rhythm can help with movement and memoryTippiTV Multiple sclerosis By signing up you accept what and . The latest MS experts recommend that people with MS and their household members receive the COVID-19 vaccine. By signing up you accept the and .

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